ContentsBackgroundThis sketch was written for a Christmas service and the idea was to try to do some "myth-busting" on some of the common perceptions of the Christmas story that have no basis in the actual birth narratives in Matthew and Luke. So we thought that spoofing a show like the BBC's QI would be the right kind of format. The original performance was done in the adult-only part of the service (after the kids had gone out for their classes) to avoid causing the little ones any confusion. The sketch also relied on Simeon being able to do a very passable Donald Trump impression.Rating
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StagingAs close to a standard quiz show format as you can manage - the presenter can be behind one desk and the other "contestants" can be behind another. Part of the sketch relies on at least one visual being projected or shown on a screen but if this facility is available it can be used to create more of the flavour and feel of the quiz show with visuals throughout. Ideally you also need a way of either playing the klaxon sound effect or doing something similar live to indicate a wrong answer. Here is the graphic referred to in the sketch about the 'guest room' and stable-area in home in first-Century Judea: Scripts[Theme music plays]Sandi: Good Morning I’m Sandi Danish and welcome to IQ the show that likes to ask Interesting Questions – and is totally different to a certain other show on TV that might have a similar name. This week we are in York for our Christmas Special and my guests this morning are… Donald J. Trumpet… Donald: Sorry losers and haters but my IQ is one of the highest and you all know it. Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault. Sandi: ...and Dr Sheldon Coupe from ‘The Huge Crash Theory’… Sheldon: I actually have one of highest IQ’s as well, my mother had me tested. Sandi: ...and of course our resident troublemaker Alan Dimwit [Alan waves stupidly]. Here’s the game, we ask Interesting Questions hoping for Interesting Answers that entertain and inform and but any time a panellist gives a common misconception about any question you’ll hear this sound. [KLAXON sound effect] As this is our Christmas Special our theme is the original Christmas Story of the birth of Jesus. Alan: Great – I was in a school nativity once so I should actually know some of these! Sandi: OK .. here goes with the first question: Why was Jesus born in a stable? Donald: Ah stable! Like my good friend Theresa, very strong, very stable... Sandi: Well, that’s not really an answer, so, anyone else? Alan: Because there was no room in the inn? [KLAXON sound effect] Oh no… Donald: They only went to the inn because Trumpet Resorts weren’t built yet, there is always space at Trumpet Resorts! Trumpet Resorts are the goodliest Resorts Sheldon: Oh, I know this – isn’t it something about the word for inn actually means a guest room in the original Greek? Sandi: Yes, that’s right Sheldon. It was very common for houses to have one family room, connected to a stable and sometimes a guest room. As you can see from the graphic on-screen now. The gospels are most likely saying that Mary and Joseph stayed with family in Bethlehem in a family home and the only space left was in the stable area. Points to you. Next question: When was Jesus born? Alan: Well I’m not saying 25th December! [KLAXON sound effect] I said I’m NOT saying ... Sandi: Yes, it’s not the 25th December, nobody knows what day it actually was. So, can you tell me what year? Donald: Well it’s not 0AD that is fake news! There is no 0AD – only 1 AD Sandi: So are you saying it’s 1 AD? [trying to lead him to the klaxon] Sheldon: Wasn’t it 3 B.C.? Sandi: That’s certainly closer. You're right that the guy who developed the way we reckon years was a 6th-century monk named Dionysius Exiguus. Using this system there was a strong consensus among early Christian historians that Jesus was born somewhere around 2 B.C. or 3 B.C. Though some think it could've been as early as 4 B.C. Alan: O come on. Sheldon: Am I also right in saying we celebrate it in winter on the 25th December because Christians took over the pagan winter festival of Yuletide? Sandi: Very good. [A bit grumpily] More points to you Sheldon. Final question. How many wise men went to visit Jesus? Donald: As a wise man I’m qualified to answer this. People say to me – Donald you’re the wisest man. Sandi: Once again – not an actual answer – anyone else? Alan: I think I’m getting the hang of this… There’s a number between 2 and 4 that is definitely not the answer. Sandi: And why is that? Sheldon: [Jumping in] The wise men brought 3 gifts to Jesus in Matthew’s gospel but we are never told how many wise men or Magi there were – other than it must’ve been more than 1 as the plural is used. Alan: You’ll be telling me next that they didn’t follow a star! Sandi: Correct Alan – well done – I think I might have to give you some points. Alan: Really?!! Sheldon: Yes, exactly, yes - astronomers now think it was probably an alignment of planets that would’ve appeared to the ancients as a bright new star …. Donald: [talking over him] I have a star on Hollywood Boulevard, it’s the best star the biggliest star people say to me, Donald, you have the bestiest star… Alan: I’m so confused! Sandi: Well! [interrupting and shutting up everyone] that’s all we have time for this week. Just time for the scores. In last place with -100 – Alan Dimwit. In second place with 15 points Sheldon Coupe – and in a surprise result the winner is Donald Trumpet with 10,000 points! Donald: I’d like to thank my friend Vlad… Sandi: And thank you to my guests and all of you for watching and I’ll leave you with this inspiring quote from the great Professor Dumbledore: ‘to be or no deal, there is no try [theme music] Copyright © 2017 Jane And Mark Lewis. http://www.pottedjam.org Email: sketches@pottedjam.org Back to Top Back to Drama Homepage |
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